Shades of Beautiful
by Sorrel
Summary: Midnight musings. Draco is thinking, and trying not to think, about everything that shaped him and what is still to come. Slash Harry-Draco.


**Shades of Beautiful **

****  
  
_And I'd give up forever to touch you   
Cuz I know that you feel me somehow   
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be   
And I don't want to go home right now_   
  
   Draco sighed and nuzzled against the hollow of Harry's throat, his tongue lashing out to catch a drop of sweat that rolled off his skin. He was so happy right where he was, and he never wanted it to end. Right there, curled up in Harry's protective arms, he knew that he was safe, that nothing was ever going to harm him again, and it was the most wonderful feeling he had ever had. Harry was the closest taste of heaven that he would ever have, that someone like him could ever even hope for, and he knew that Harry loved him and that somehow, somehow he could feel what was in his heart, could feel the love that he held there even though he was unable to voice it, and he didn't ever want to leave the sheltering comfort of his loving arms.   
  
_And all I can taste is this moment   
And all I can breathe is your life   
Cuz sooner or later it's over   
I just don't want to miss you tonight_   
  
   But reality threatened; yet still he pushed it away. He didn't want to think about reality, didn't want to think about what awaited him when he had to leave the safe cocoon that they had made for themselves here. He didn't want to think about the danger, the hate, the rage that hovered like a grim specter of death. He just wanted to lie where he was, curled up in his beloved's embrace, and revel in the love that surrounded him. Later, later he would think about the pain that would almost certainly catch up to him, but for now… for now he would be with Harry, the Boy Who Was Loved. The boy he loved, and would continue to love for eternity, no matter what the consequences.   
  
_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming   
Or the moment of truth in your lies   
When everything feels like the movies   
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive_   
  
   But the more he tired not to think about things, the more he thought about them. And the more he thought, the more he wanted to cry, but all of his tears were gone. They had all been used up as a child, so all that was left was a dry burning in his eyes, when he felt like tears would wash all the pain away. Silly, of course, because nothing could erase the pain, but he felt that now, cradled in the comforting embrace of darkness and Harry's arms, the tears could wash everything away- the pain, the destruction, the lies. He had been living alive for so long now, and he didn't know how to cast it away. He wasn't strong enough to cast it away. All he could do was bleed, the only thing that held him to reality- the blood and Harry. But right now he had Harry, and he clung to the physical shell of the pillar of strength that was Harry's spirit, as if the closer he got, the more he held on, the stronger he himself got. But that wasn't true. Nothing could make him strong again.   
  
_And I don't want the world to see me   
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand   
When everything's made to be broken   
I just want you to know who I am_   
  
   He wished that he could just cast away the lie, just stand under a shower of his tears and wash everything away. But he couldn't, even if he could still shed tears. No one would understand what was inside him, no one but Harry. But he wasn't strong enough to show his love what really lurked inside him, because he was afraid that it would horrify him, and he knew that if he lost Harry, he would have nothing. Something inside him would break, something inside him would die, and he would be nothing. So he clung to Harry and knew that he would snatch these precious moments and hold them close, because they were all that were holding him to this world. But he wanted, wanted so badly that it hurt somewhere deep inside of him, to show Harry the truth.   
   But some things were never meant to be, so he clung tighter to his love and feel into a deep, dreamless sleep.

_I just want you to know who I am…_


End file.
